One Month Ago Today....

“Casting all your care upon Him, because He careth for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

It is a happy way of soothing sorrow when we can feel- ‘HE careth for me’.

Christian! Do not dishonor your religion by always wearing a brow of care; come, cast your burden upon your Lord. You are staggering beneath a weight which your Father would not feel. What seems to you a crushing burden, would be to Him but as the small dust of the balance. Nothing is so sweet as to

‘Lie passive in God’s hands, and to know no will but His.’

O child of suffering, be thou patient; God has not passed thee over in His providence. He who is the feeder of sparrows, will also furnish you with what you need. Sit not down in despair; hope on, hope ever. Take up the arms of faith against a sea of trouble, and your opposition shall yet end your distresses. There is One who careth for you. His eye is fixed on you, His heart beats with pity for your woe, and His hand omnipotent shall yet bring you the needed help. The darkest cloud shall scatter itself in showers of mercy. The blackest gloom shall ever give place to the morning. He, if thou art one of His family, will bind up thy wounds, and heal thy broken heart. Doubt not His grace because of thy tribulation, but believe that He loveth you as much in seasons of trouble as in times of happiness. What a serene and quiet life might you lead if you would leave providing to the God of providence! With a little oil in the cruise, and a handful of meal in the barrel, Elijah outlived the famine, and you will do the same. If God cares for you, why need you care too? Can you trust Him for your soul, and not for your body? He has never refused to bear your burdens, He has never fainted under their weight. Come, then, soul! Have done with fretful care, and leave all thy concerns in the hand of a gracious God.

This was the devotional for the morning of January 6th, 2012...It was in my sister Beth's devotional book and I read it as we were on our way to McKinney. I tried to be strong, to be brave, and not let my Husband who was sitting in the drivers seat beside me or my Mother and Sister who were in the back seat see the few tears stream down my face. God knew just what I needed to read that morning...He knew what I was about to face...on January 6th 2012 I was headed to McKinney for surgery to remove a lump/spot they had found in my breast.

Let me rewind a few months to November 2011.

I went to the doctor after much procrastinating on my part due to the fact that I was too scared to face the reality of what I had found, a very small lump at first, but I could already tell it was growing and by the time I finally was brave enough to face this fact it was obviously something that could not be ignored any longer.

The doctor confirmed what I had found to be some sort of growth and sent me to get an ultrasound where I met with yet another doctor who agreed that this was something that needed further research.
I was then sent to a specialist who was very confident that this spot/lump needed to be removed.

Blake and I prayed and thought about this decision and came to the conclusion pretty quickly that whatever it was we wanted it to be removed and as quickly as possible.

It's crazy how fast your life can change from just doing normal day-to-day activities to being on the phone with surgery-coordinators, nurses, anesthesiologists, doctors etc... each phone call they always started out with asking my date of birth...and almost every time the person on the other end of the phone was taken aback by hearing my young age... some were honest enough to even say "I thought this was maybe a daughter of the patient who we needed to speak to!" and "we are not used to hearing birth dates in the 80's" one of the scheduling coordinators even made the extra effort to be sure I was doing okay with everything and called the day before my surgery to see if I needed anything which was such a blessing!

God gave me such a peace through the entire process. Most of the time I would be an emotional wreck if even someone I knew were going through the same situation... Philippians 4:7

"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." It truly does pass all understanding. I know God gave me that peace and I am so thankful for it.

My family and friends showered me in prayers, support and encouragement. It was an amazing feeling to know I was being lifted up by so many in prayer. Blake and I were in awe and disbelief when we began to see all the different ways the Lord was providing for our needs...emotionally, financially, etc...we are so undeserving but so very thankful.

I arrived at the surgery center and checked in then went to sit in the waiting area...one of the most precious memories I have when thinking back to that day is when my husband, mother, and two sisters gathered around and prayed with me as the tears flowed down my face I felt such peace and strength and the promise that whatever happened God was in control.

In pre-op Blake kept me smiling and distracted of what I was dreading most...being put-under. We watched The Martha Stewart show and met with all of the medical staff that would be in the O.R. during my procedure. After a hug and kiss from my husband I was on my way into the O.R. .

The last thing I remember was one of the nurses telling me a joke to make me laugh...but I don't even remember what the joke was...and then the next thing I know I was in recovery!

The surgery lasted about 30 minutes and everything went smoothly. Blake came back to be with me while I woke up and he got a kick out of watching me trying to make sense of my surroundings. I was having trouble drinking from a straw, kept asking the same questions over and over, etc...Once I had a grip on reality I was released to go home :)

I spent most of the next week sleeping, visiting, watching movies, making crafts, etc...I went back to work less than a week later and then went back in for a post-op app. one week after my surgery. That whole time we were all anxiously awaiting the test results. My family and friends again covered me in prayers and encouragement throughout our wait.

We drove back to the surgery center and patiently waited for the results...the surgeon came in and said just what we were hoping she would....that it was a completely benign fibroadenoma!! Relief. Thankfulness. Praise. These things are what come to mind as I think back to that moment. :)

It's easy to know in my head that each day is a gift, that relationships are precious, that our time on earth is but a breathe, but I now know that in my heart. I know God allowed this to draw me closer to Him, and to help and be more compassionate towards others who are facing similar situations. Which brings me to the reason I am sharing this story with you.

First and foremost I want to give God all the glory, honor and praise.

Secondly I want for this testimony to promote breast cancer awareness...I want to encourage everyone to get annual check-ups and to be more health conscious. I want to be here for you or for someone you know who might be in a similar situation of not wanting to face the reality of what needed to be done. Please don't hesitate to e-mail me to let me know how I can help. If you need someone to talk to, encourage or lift you up in prayer...I am your girl! :)

The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley if You want me to

'Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire if You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

- Ginny Owens